


don't play my heart

by peachtones



Series: yecheneung university [3]
Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: (for minhyuk and jihoon lmao), Alternate Universe - College/University, Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Texting, bc the love drama is the plot u see, just lots of shenanigans overall bc boys r dumb lmao, slowburn probably?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-06 04:05:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 14,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13403103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachtones/pseuds/peachtones
Summary: ahjussi 2:bitch did you just lock the chat room controlsmaknae:chat admin perks ;))))ahjussi 2:dont wink at meahjussi 2:that’s my trademarkmaknae:;;;;;;;;)ahjussi 2:im going to leave the chatahjussi:please doahjussi:then i wont have to deal with you here or in real lifeahjussi 2:fight me park minhyukahjussi:what, so you can lose again lmao





	1. 3park and choking kinks

**Author's Note:**

> i recommend that you read [call me (baby)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12202275/chapters/27709284) before you read this, but i think you'll be fine if you don't? idk how much from cmb is gonna transfer over to dpmh...a couple gc definitely will but other than that? i think you'll be good? cmb will mostly just give u background info since this focuses mostly on 3park
> 
> (also the title is from baby don't play by wonder girls!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the second bit:  
> \- choco >> woojin  
> \- banana >> yoojung

**[ park woojin ] created a chat with [ park jihoon and park minhyuk ]**

**[ park woojin ] changed the chat name to [ if u leave the chat im kicking u out of the room ]**

**park woojin:** i mean it

 **park minhyuk:** what gives you the authority

 **park jihoon:** yeah you’re the youngest out of all of us

 **park woojin:** what  
**park woojin:** no im not  
**park woojin:** what month were you two born

 **park jihoon:** may

 **park minhyuk:** february

 **park woojin:** what the fuck

**[ park jihoon ] changed [ park woojin ]’s nickname to [ maknae ]**

**maknae:** my whole life has been a lie

 **park minhyuk:** get used to it kid

**[ maknae ] changed [ park minhyuk ]’s nickname to [ ahjussi ]**

**ahjussi:** hEY

 **maknae:** u sounded like an old man i had to change it

 **ahjussi:** is that any way to speak to ur elder punk

 **maknae:** WE WERE BORN THE SAME YEAR WE ARE THE SAME AGE

 **park jihoon:** yeah, for now  
**park jihoon:** give it a few months and then we’ll both be older than you

**[ maknae ] changed [ park jihoon ]’s nickname to [ ahjussi 2 ]**

**ahjussi 2:** bitch did you just lock the chat room controls

 **maknae:** chat admin perks ;))))

 **ahjussi 2:** dont wink at me  
**ahjussi 2:** that’s my trademark

 **maknae:** ;;;;;;;;)

 **ahjussi 2:** im going to leave the chat

 **ahjussi:** please do  
**ahjussi:** then i wont have to deal with you here or in real life

 **ahjussi 2:** fight me park minhyuk

 **ahjussi:** what, so you can lose again lmao

 **ahjussi 2:** the only reason i lost was because eunwoo-hyung interrupted

 **ahjussi:** oh  
**ahjussi:** so you admit defeat

 **ahjussi 2:** bITCH LISTEN HERE

 **ahjussi:** once you get a black belt in taekwondo  
**ahjussi:** maybe  
**ahjussi:** i dont think you'll ever win again me

 **ahjussi 2:** is that a challenge

 **ahjussi:** it's not a challenge if i keep winning  
**ahjussi:** oh that reminds me  
**ahjussi:** remember when you got shot with a nerf bullet on your way to class last month  
**ahjussi:** and spent five minutes looking around like an idiot to find whoever did it

 **ahjussi 2:** how do you even know about that

 **ahjussi:** it was me  
**ahjussi:** i was the one who shot it

 **ahjussi 2:** i  
**ahjussi 2:** what  
**ahjussi 2:** where

 **ahjussi:** third floor of the art building, room s304

 **ahjussi 2:** what the fuck  
**ahjussi 2:** i’m going to strangle you

 **ahjussi:** if you can even reach

 **ahjussi 2:** oh my god  
**ahjussi 2:** you are literally 3 cm taller than me

 **ahjussi:** yeah but you’re still the shortest out of the three of us

 **maknae:** dont drag me into this

 **ahjussi 2:** uh hey minhyuk  
**ahjussi 2:** shut up

 **ahjussi:** uh hey jihoon  
**ahjussi:** make me

 **ahjussi 2:** i swear to god im going to strangle you

 **ahjussi:** no thanks i dont want to indulge your kinks

 **ahjussi 2:** I DONT HAVE ANY KINKS

 **ahjussi:** uh huh sure u dont

 **ahjussi 2:** I DONT

 **ahjussi:** dont worry ur choking kink is safe with me

 **ahjussi 2:** I DONT HAVE A CHOKING KINK  
**ahjussi 2:** AND WHY WOULD I TRUST YOU

 **ahjussi:** ur right  
**ahjussi:** this has now been filed away for blackmail material thanks

 **ahjussi 2:** I AM REALLY GOING TO STRANGLE YOU **  
** **ahjussi 2:** TO DEATH

 **ahjussi:** good luck with that

 **maknae:** why are you two like this  
**maknae:** the ust is literally tangible

 **ahjussi:** what?

 **ahjussi 2:** what’s ust

 **maknae:** oh nothing dont mind me  
**maknae:** continue ur dumb argument  
**maknae:** im gonna go make some popcorn  
**maknae:** dont get too wild without me

 **ahjussi 2:** what is that even supposed to mean

 **maknae:** i should be asking u that, mr. i have a choking kink

 **ahjussi 2:** nO I DONT

 

☆ ☆ ☆

 

**[ milk (2) ]**

**choco:** [screenshot_244.png]  
**choco:** [screenshot_245.png]  
**choco:** [screenshot_246.png]  
**choco:** [screenshot_247.png]  
**choco:** i could literally cut this ust with a knife like no joke

 **banana:** i suddenly wish i couldnt read

 **choco:** honestly me every single day of my life

 **banana:** wait  
**banana:** am i reading this correctly

 **choco:** reading what correctly

 **banana:** this is a conversation with jihoon and minhyuk  
**banana:** as in your roommate, jihoon  
**banana:** and also your roommate but also my friend, minhyuk

 **choco:** yes

 **banana:** what the fuck  
**banana:** i knew they were like mortal enemies or whatever but this is just like  
**banana:** Gay  
**banana:** a classic enemies to lover trope  
**banana:** like they even got those “shut up" “make me" lines

 **choco:** i know  
**choco:** like when will they drop this mortal enemy shit and just start making out with each other  
**choco:** i mean i hope it doesnt happen when im around but still  
**choco:** i am tired of all this unresolved sexual tension that radiates whenever they are in the same room

 **banana:** honestly it’s bad at practice i cant imagine what its like having to share a room with them

 **choco:** its Worse than whatever u are imagining  
**choco:** and i have to deal with this  
**choco:** every day  
**choco:** in  
**choco:** real  
**choco:** life

 **banana:** my condolences

 **choco:** thank u

 **banana:** you could always crash at my dorm but i dont think that mina would appreciate it

 **choco:** u probably right  
**choco:** thanks for the offer tho

 **banana:** no prob man

 **banana:** so..  
**banana:** jihoon has a choking kink?

 **choco:** i dont know and i dont want to know

 **banana:** wait is the kink choking or being choked

 **choco:** i repeat:  
****choco:** ** i dont know and i dont want to know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some notes:  
> \- minhyuk is really the tallest out of the three! he is 176cm (5'9), woojin is 174cm (5'9), and jihoon is 173cm (5'8)  
> \- the reason why woojin and yoojung's chat is called "milk" is if you put the first syllables of their names together (우 & 유) you get the korean word for milk! also hence why their names are "choco" and "banana"!  
> \- yoojung's roommate is kang mina!


	2. hwang minhyun and spicy boys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new nicknames for this chapter! (if u read cmb, this is the chat from ch20, now with ongniel!)
> 
> \- dumpling head >> jaehwan  
> \- smol >> yoojung  
> \- ongrora borealis >> ong  
> \- daniel radcliffe >> daniel  
> \- tol >> doyeon  
> \- cooking mama >> jisung  
> \- i love u boa sunbaenim >> woojin  
> \- io >> bin  
> \- gru >> eunwoo  
> \- aptenodytes forsteri >> minhyun  
> \- wmyb (laugh track ver) >> sungwoon  
> \- goldfish cracker >> sewoon  
> \- metamorphic >> minhyuk
> 
> also please click the link, it's real and it made me laugh so hard i started crying

**[ this is a minion-free zone (14) ]**

**dumpling head:** if u had to date one person in this gc who would it be  
**dumpling head:** if ur already dating someone in the chat u gotta pick someone else

 **smol:** doyeon

 **ongrora borealis:** oh?  
**ongrora borealis:** why’s that  
**ongrora borealis:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **smol:** im Gay  
**smol:** also my standards are too high for any of you  
**smol:** except maybe minhyun

 **ongrora borealis:** a solid point  
**ongrora borealis:** my choice is also minhyun

 **daniel radcliffe:** babe ://

 **ongrora borealis:** babe u know i couldnt pick u :///

 **daniel radcliffe:** why tho how is hyung better than me :////

 **ongrora borealis:** bc he’s handsome, likes to clean, and can cook  
**ongrora borealis:** also he can speak another language, that's hot

 **daniel radcliffe:** yeah okay fair enough  
**daniel radcliffe:** but i can speak another language  
**daniel radcliffe:** why dont u call me hot :////

 **ongrora borealis:** bc u already know ur hot babe ://///

 **daniel radcliffe:** babe u right :///////

 **tol:** i'll datewhoever is taller than me  
**tol:** im tired of being tall all the time :/  
**tol:** they have to be at least 8 cm taller tho otherwise what’s the point

 **dumpling head:** how tall are you

 **tol:** 173 cm

 **dumpling head:** holy shit

 **ongrora borealis:** mihyun would be the perfect height for u then  
**ongrora borealis:** eunwoo if we’re being a lil ambitious

 **tol:** minhyun it is then

 **cooking mama:** is anyone not going to not pick minhyun

 **i love u boa sunbaenim:** probably not

 **io:** just face it minhyun is a catch  
**io:** a snack and a half  
**io:** no offense eunwoo ur also a snack and a half

 **dumpling head:** wrong minhyun is a whole meal

 **gru:** None taken.

 **aptenodytes forsteri:** u right  
**aptenodytes forsteri:** my man is a catch  
**aptenodytes forsteri:** \- jonghyun

 **cooking mama:** jonghyun why do you have minhyun’s phone

 **aptenodytes forsteri:** he gave it to me when he got up to go to the bathroom and said “answer this for me”

 **tol:** wow goals

 **wmyb (laugh track ver):** y’all i just saw the HOTTEST boy ever in my life just now  
**wmyb (laugh track ver):** oops wrong gc lmao

 **dumpling head:** too late  
**dumpling head:** u have to tell us now  
**dumpling head:** ur contractually obligated

 **ongrora borealis:** yeah u gotta spill the tea now

 **wmyb (laugh track ver):** why should i tell you guys lmao

 **cooking mama:** because you never tell us anything  
**cooking mama:** besides when you’re complaining about something

 **dumpling head:** how is ur life away from us hyung

 **aptenodytes forsteri:** When are you coming to visit?

 **wmyb (laugh track ver):** damn i talk to u guys almost every day why are you so clingy all of a sudden

 **daniel radcliffe:** we miss you

 **goldfish cracker:** jaehwan has just started singing sad osts  
**goldfish cracker:** i can literally hear him through the walls  
**goldfish cracker:** why

 **i love u boa sunbaenim:** rip lmao

 **dumpling head:** excuse you my singing is a delight

 **cooking mama:** sure it is  
**cooking mama:** sungwoon can you please tell ur story before we inevitably get off topic again?

 **wmyb (laugh track ver):** ok fine  
**wmyb (laugh track ver):** since you asked nicely

 **cooking mama:** thank you

 **wmyb (laugh track ver):** well there i was minding my own business sipping my coffee on my way to class as you do

 **dumpling head:** of course

 **wmyb (laugh track ver):** and this GIANT of a human being almost runs right into me bc he isnt looking where he’s going and i almost trip to get out of the way and at that point my coffee was more important than my dignity so i was ready to straight up eat pavement while holding my cup up in the air

 **io:** understandable

 **i love u boa sunbaenim:** a big mood

 **wmyb (laugh track ver):** but this dude? literally catches me by the arm before i can begin my descent to the sidewalk and yells at the giant to watch where he’s going before he asks if im okay and i swear to god i have never been so starstruck by a boy in my life  
**wmyb (laugh track ver):** like he was just wearing this big red hoodie and some ripped jeans but oh boy  
**wmyb (laugh track ver):** how can a singular boy contain be this spicy in casual wear?

 **dumpling head:** spicy u say?  
**dumpling head:** is that ur sly way of saying want his pepper

 **cooking mama:** JAEHWAN

 **wmyb (laugh track ver):** well ur not wrong

 **goldfish cracker:** is that all of the story

 **wmyb (laugh track ver):** sadly yeah i had to get to class

 **ongrora borealis:** disappointing

 **dumpling head:** u should put up a missed connections craigslist ad

 **aptenodytes forsteri:** I would like to strongly advise against that

 **gru:** I agree with Minhyun-hyung.  
**gru:** That sounds like a bad idea waiting to happen.

 **wmyb (laugh track ver):** duly noted

 **tol:** hey guys

 **cooking mama:** hey?

 **i love u boa sunbaenim:** hey

 **aptenodytes forsteri:** Hi

 **goldfish cracker:** hello

 **ongrora borealis:** ayo wassup

 **tol:** [ https://youtu.be/IvnW89osj0g  
](https://youtu.be/IvnW89osj0g) **tol:** ur welcome

 **wmyb (laugh track ver):** wtf

 **i love u boa sunbaenim:** oh my god

 **daniel radcliffe:** im.crhing

 **metamorphic:** i love that bird

 **io:** i am that bird

 **ongrora borealis:** tag urself im the bird laughing in the background

 **smol:** im the single strawberry yogurt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some notes:  
> \- aptenodytes forsteri is the scientific name for emperor penguins  
> \- bin's nickname one of the moons of jupiter, io  
> \- the "giant of a human being" was hyunbin (he was distracted by videos of yongguk's cats) and the spicy boy was taehyun  
> \- pepper (고추) is slang for dick in korean  
> \- jihoon is still in this chat too he just has it muted lmao


	3. evil twins and true love bagels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for anyone who read cmb this is the baby squad chat!
> 
> \- nation's dark past >> woojin  
> \- huang bieber >> justin  
> \- old no bones jung >> jungjung  
> \- wink boy >> jihoon  
> \- magumagu >> daehwi  
> \- metamong >> euiwoong  
> \- chick 1 >> seonho  
> \- chick 2 >> guanlin  
> \- hwang minhyun's actual son >> jinyoung  
> \- egg >> hyungseob
> 
> (also just to be clear, hyungseob and woojin have _not_ gotten together at this point. they're still just bros)

**[  I can be your angle….or yuor devil (10) ]**

**nation’s dark past:** WHOMST the fuck added huang bieber to this chat while i was gone

**[ old no bones jung ] changed [ dollar sign dollar sign ]’s nickname to [ huang bieber ]**

**huang bieber:** FUCK YOU WOOJIN

 **nation’s dark past:** you wish

 **huang bieber:** scoff  
**huang bieber:** as if  
**huang bieber:** YOU wish

 **old no bones jung:** Justin you're a minor  
**old no bones jung:** That's illegal

 **huang bieber:** shut up ur not my dad

 **wink boy:** did u really just write “scoff”

 **huang bieber:** yeah u got a problem w/ that wink boy?

 **wink boy:** no i was just asking for clarification  
**wink boy:** damn cant u read

 **huang bieber:** no  
**huang bieber:** i am currently using a translator  
**huang bieber:** i do not and have never known korean  
**huang bieber:** you’ve all been punk’d

 **magumagu:** i talked to you once in real life though justin

 **huang bieber:** that was my  
**huang bieber:** Evil Twin

 **metamong:** oh god  
**metamong:** there's two of you?  
**metamong:** i feel sorry for your mother

 **huang bieber:** hEY

 **chick 1:** why does your evil twin know korean and u dont

 **huang bieber:** idk i dont tell him how to live his life

 **chick 2:** he's smarter than u then bc he knows more languages than you

 **huang bieber:** HEY  
**huang bieber:** i cant believe u guys are roasting me like this

 **nation's dark past:** who else are we supposed to roast lmao

 **hwang minhyun’s actual son:** what's ur twin’s name this feels like an essential fact we need to know

 **huang bieber:** his name is…  
**huang bieber:** nitsuj

 **magumagu:** i read that as ninjutsu lmao

 **wink boy:** wow what a weeb

 **nation’s dark past:** i love naruto sunbaenim

 **magumagu:** ninjustu is a real actual thing u idiots  
**magumagu:** not just from naruto  
**magumagu:** did you guys forget i have actually lived in japan

 **egg:** YOU LIVED IN JAPAN?  
**egg:** why didnt i know this

 **hwang minhyun’s actual son:** we love a multicultural man

 **chick 2:** what about me

 **chick 1:** we love a multicultural man

 **egg:** ya’ll i am desperately craving a bagel right now  
**egg:** if one of you is willing to walk directly into my lecture to deliver me a bagel i will love you forever & will treat u to the finest convenience store ramen a broke college student can afford at a later date

 **nation's dark past:** what kind of bagel

 **egg:** thank god woojin i love you

 **nation's dark past:** yeah ok  
**nation's dark past:** what kind of bagel do u want

 **wink boy:** why dont u ever bring me bagels

 **nation's dark past:** 1\. u never ask me to bring u bagels  
**nation's dark past:** 2\. i like hyungseob more than u  
**nation's dark past:** 3\. it was pure coincidence that i was in line at the cafe at this very moment

 **egg:** it was fate,,, my bagel

 **nation's dark past:** seriously i need to know what kind i am literally 2nd in line now if u dont tell me u arent getting the bagel

 **egg:** nO MY BAGEL  
**egg:** CHOCOLATE CHIP  
**egg:** I WANT CHOCOLATE CHIP

 **nation's dark past:** cream cheese?

 **egg:** YES PLEASE

 **nation’s dark past:** okay

 **nation’s dark past:** [picofbagel.png]  
**nation’s dark past:** bagel acquired

 **egg:** thank u so much  
**egg:** do u need directions to my class

 **nation’s dark past:** no i know where it is  
**nation’s dark past:** be there in a few

 **egg:** oH M Y GOD

 **hwang minhyun’s actual son:** what

 **magumagu:** what happened

 **egg:** woojin literally walked into the room while my professor was lecturing, did not stop when she called him out for walking into the lecture hall in the middle of class, and walked all the way to where i was sitting to deliver the bagel and a coffee i didnt ask for? and then just left  
**egg:** i am so embarrassed everyone is looking at me

 **nation’s dark past:** you literally said to deliver you the bagel  
**nation’s dark past:** i was doing as i was told

 **egg:** i was going to meet you in the hall to get it  
**egg:** you didnt need to actually walk into my lecture

 **egg:** tHE GIRL SITTING NEXT TO ME JUST WHISPERED TO ME ABOUT HOW SHE WAS JEALOUS OF ME FOR HAVING SUCH A NICE BOYFRIEND IM

 **wink boy:** what boyfriend lmao

 **egg:** SHE THOUGHT WOOJIN WAS MY BOYFRIEND

 **metamong:** well that is peak romance

 **old no bones jung:** true love is bringing your significant other a bagel during their lecture

 **wink boy:** when will my boyfriend bring me a bagel during my lecture

 **magumagu:** u have a boyfriend?

 **nation’s dark past:** bitch since when

 **egg:** spill who is this boy you’ve been keeping a secret from us

 **wink boy:** guys it was a joke  
**wink boy:** i dont have a boyfriend  
**wink boy:** i just want a boyfriend who would bring me a bagel  
**wink boy:** actually a boyfriend who brings me food in general

 **nation’s dark past:** i bring you food all the time  
**nation’s dark past:** does that make me your boyfriend

 **egg:** uH  
**egg:** sorry no jihoon you cant have woojin  
**egg:** if he’s ur boyfriend he wont bring me food  
**egg:** so im calling dibs

 **wink boy:** damn there go my plans  
**wink boy:** guanlin

 **chick 2:** no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> panwink found dead in a ditch


	4. exposing your friends and setting up your roommates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the first part:  
> \- a mess >> woojin  
> \- do >> doyeon  
> \- daeng >> yoojung
> 
> for the second part:  
> \- kronk >> woojin  
> \- pacha >> donghyun  
> \- kuzco >> youngmin  
> \- yzma >> daehwi

**[ love is a 200pc mcnugget (3) ]**

**a mess:** [screenshot_250.png]  
**a mess:** [screenshot_251.png]  
**a mess:** what is this supposed to mean

 **do:** i’m not /not/ gonna he’s not interested bc like,,  
**do:** not interested people dont go around preventing other people from getting boyfriends

 **a mess:** hyungseob was just joking though  
**a mess:** he really likes food  
**a mess:** also for the record i would not date jihoon again,,,

 **daeng:** again?  
**daeng:** you dated him once already???

 **a mess:** yeah but it wasn’t serious  
**a mess:** it was only for like a month in high school  
**a mess:** i think we went on one (1) date, only kissed twice, and just held hands a lot..although that could've been bc it was exam season and we had like zero free time lmao  
**a mess:** we mutually decided we were better as friends tho  
**a mess:** but it actually brought us closer together?  
**a mess:** he's my best friend  
**a mess:** even if he's a dumbass sometimes

 **daeng:** oh  
**daeng:** well  
**daeng:** this is new information  
**daeng:** but what doyeon said is right  
**daeng:** but can i get full context for this conversation  
**daeng:** i need 2 take into account all elements at play here

 **do:** yeah what yoojung said

 **a mess:** [screenshot_252.png]  
**a mess:** [screenshot_253.png]  
**a mess:** [screenshot_254.png]

 **daeng:** ur tryin to be slick but you aint i see u park woojin

 **a mess:** what

 **daeng:** timestamps dont lie i know for a fact you weren’t actually in line at a cafe when you sent that

 **a mess:** what proof do u have that i wasnt

 **daeng:** me, watching you sprint across campus with my own two eyes from the upstairs lounge of the music building

 **do:** i was there too  
**do:** we laughed about it after bc u looked like an idiot

 **a mess:** i cant believe this betrayal

 **daeng:** also? you bought him a coffee too?

 **do:** dude you’re whipped  
**do:** in a good way though  
**do:** if the person i was dating brought me food during class? i’d love them 5ever

 **daeng:** honestly big mood  
**daeng:** the best way to a person’s heart is through their stomach

 **do:** you bringing him food was a step in the right direction my dude

 **a mess:** thanks for the reassurance

 **daeng:** so when u gonna ask him out  
**daeng:** or are you just gonna keep bribing him with food until he realizes ur perfect boyfriend material and asks you out first

 **a mess:** i mean that’s a foolproof plan what could go wrong

 **do:** it could take several years? he could find someone else? actually get a boyfriend who isn’t you?

 **a mess:** doyeon why do u have to be so hot and cold like this  
**a mess:** first u assure me my plan is great and then u crush my hopes and dreams

 **do:** i’m only being realistic  
**do:** also, a suggestion: blast signal outside his dorm window

 **a mess:** it’s a no from me  
**a mess:**  how about we move onto a new topic that isn’t my nonexistent love life:  
**a mess:** how do you think i could get minhyuk and jihoon together without them beating each other up first

 **do:** you can’t

 **daeng:** it’s just not realistic

 **a mess:** wow a lot of help you two are  
**a mess:** guess i’ll just go ask somewhere else then

 

☆☆☆

 

**[ why do we even have that lever (4) ]**

 

**kronk:** hey  
**kronk:** how would one go about setting up their roommates  
**kronk:** asking for a friend

**pacha:** Literally why would you want to do that

**kuzco:** i mean it worked 4 donghyun & i but tht’s bc we only had each other as roommates  
**kuzco:** also we lived off campus so we werent stuck w/ each other for the rest of the year?  
**kuzco:** u r  
**kuzco:** u will end up being a 3rd wheel in ur own living space  
**kuzco:** r u sure u want tht honey

**kronk:** tbh that would be better than what i have to deal with rn 

**yzma:** why would u want to set up jihoon and minhyuk lmao  
**yzma:** is it bc of what jihoon said in the gc

**kronk:** no  
**kronk:** well  
**kronk:** okay maybe a little bit  
**kronk:** but mostly no

**pacha:** Just leave them to their own devices they’ll figure it out for themselves eventually

**kronk:** tbh i would but they're like sworn enemies or whatever so the only way that that would happen would be if it was like that “sometimes you make me so mad” “so mad you wanna kiss me” “ye- uh” “ahh you said it not me” vine  
**kronk:** im just tired of this unresolved sexual tension they’ve got goin on and want 2 speed up this process  
**kronk:** i’d propose locking them in the studio like we did with daniel and seongwoo hyungs but they would actually murder each other and i dont feel like having the fact that one and/or both of them are dead because on me on my conscience 

**kuzco:** u..  
**kuzco:** u did what

**kronk:** it wasn’t my plan  
**kronk:** i was only an accomplice  
**kronk:** and forced to do it

**pacha:** Why does that make me feel like you were actually heavily involved

**yzma:** (eyes emoji)

**kronk:** u shut ur mouth david  
**kronk:** so hyungs, how did u two get together 

**pacha:** I would like to say it was all through my charms and good looks  
**pacha:** But it was really through Donghan’s meddling

**kuzco:** it wasnt even rly meddling  
**kuzco:** he just suggested i dye my hair to get donghyun’s attention  
**kuzco:** & then if he reacted positively, 2 flirt w/ him relentlessly until his lil gay heart couldnt take it anymore  
**kuzco:** needless 2 say it worked  
**kuzco:** i still cant believe i got kabedonned in this day & age

**yzma:** hyung what color did you dye ur hair?

**pacha:** It was red

**kronk:** pics or it didnt happen

**kuzco:** [youngminwithredhair.png]

**yzma:** wow  
**yzma:** red really suits u hyung

**kuzco:** dark red almost always looks good on every1  
**kuzco:** im just lucky donghan didnt try 2 get me 2 go pink or smth

**pacha:** Trust me Hyung, you could pull off pink too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> notes for this chapter:  
> \- woojin only talks to doyeon and yoojung about his big gay crush on hyungseob bc he knows the other boys will meddle and try to not so subtly make it happen and he wants to do it on his own terms  
> \- the bnm boys gc originally started out as someone changing youngmin's nickname to kuzco but then daehwi was like "wait we can do a theme here" and then changed everyone's nicknames and the chat name lmao


	5. doll hands and hair dye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3 park is back!!!! bein stupid as shit like usual lmao

**[ park jihoon has a choking kink (3) ]**

**maknae:** does anyone know why there was a small plastic doll hand in my cereal

**ahjussi:** that's mine  
**ahjussi:** actually it’s not mine  
**ahjussi:** i’m holding it for a friend

**maknae:** why am i not surprised  
**maknae:** but that doesn’t tell me why it was in my cereal

**ahjussi 2:** i put it there

**maknae:** why

**ahjussi 2:** bc he kept harassing me with it so i hid it

**maknae:** how was he even harassing you with it  
**maknae:** you two wont go within a foot of each other

**ahjussi 2:** it was attached to a string and he was throwing it at me  
**ahjussi 2:** like one of those sticky hands but more painful

**ahjussi:** oh come one it’s not like the plastic is that hard  
**ahjussi:** also u shouldnt have said that now im gonna get a sticky hand

**ahjussi 2:** as soon as that thing flies in my general vicinity i am going to rip the hand off of it  
**ahjussi 2:** he also kept putting it in increasingly annoying locations

**maknae:** like?

**ahjussi 2:** inside my pillowcase  
 **ahjussi 2:** in the bathroom, caressing our bar of soap  
 **ahjussi 2:** in our container of kimchi  
 **ahjussi 2:** in an UNOPENED container of ramen

**maknae:** that last one is impressive  
**maknae:** how did u even manage that

**ahjussi:** a man never reveals his secrets

**[ maknae ] changed [ ahjussi ]’s nickname to [ a magician ]**

**maknae:** seriously how did u get it in there tho like

**a magician:** it's actually not that hard  
**a magician:** but im not gonna tell you otherwise it ruins the  
**a magician:** °☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:* m a g i c °☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*

**maknae:** okay sure chris angel  
**maknae:** oh while im thinking abt it: jihoon

**ahjussi 2:** what

**maknae:** i’m surprised u havent said anything about the change in chat room name

**ahjussi 2:** if i don’t acknowledge it then it doesn’t exist

**maknae:** that is the most false statement i have ever heard  
**maknae:** i bet u just tried to change it after i changed minhyuk’s name

**ahjussi 2:** i did not

**maknae:** okay keep lying to yourself

**ahjussi 2:** im ignoring u from this point forward  
**ahjussi 2:** dont talk to me  
**ahjussi 2:** here or in real life

**maknae:** ur really gonna ignore me  
**maknae:** me, your best and only friend

**ahjussi 2:** i have friends other than you, woojin

**maknae:** oh yeah? name one

**ahjussi 2:** jinyoung  
**ahjussi 2:** daehwi

**maknae:** who isn't still in high school

**ahjussi 2:** euiwoong

**maknae:** that’s debatable

**ahjussi 2:** kyulkyung

**maknae:** she’s friends with everyone that doesnt count  
**maknae:** just admit im ur only friend

**ahjussi 2:** minhyuk

**maknae:** which one tho

**ahjussi 2:** park

**a magician:** no

**maknae:** okay so it looks like u got 0 friends besides me lmao

**ahjussi 2:** this is cyber bullying

**maknae:** it could be worse  
**maknae:** you could be like jisung and have a bunch of friends that are so much younger than you that there’s a generation gap

**ahjussi 2:** he cant help his motherly instincts to adopt every single person he meets

**maknae:** u rite  
**maknae:** hey are any of you at the dorm at this current moment in time

**a magician:** no

**ahjussi 2:** no  
**ahjussi 2:** why

**maknae:** what do you think the chances of me staining the bathroom red is if i dye my hair

**ahjussi 2:** how are you even going to bleach your hair  
**ahjussi 2:** i know you dont have money to get it done professionally 

**a magician:** also what does that have to do with being at the dorm

**maknae:** yoojung said she'd help me do it  
**maknae:** also i didnt want 2 stink it up while u two were here  
**maknae:** also also u cant prevent me from doing it if ur not here so

**a magician:** since when are you friends with yoojung?

**maknae:** since mind your own business

**ahjussi 2:** damn

**a magician:** no need to be so aggressive  
**a magician:** i was just curious bc she is in my circle of friends

**maknae:** idk it kinda just happened lmao

**ahjussi 2:** hey woojin do you take constructive criticism

**maknae:** sure

**ahjussi 2:** dont dye ur hair   
**ahjussi 2:** u ugly now & ur gonna get even uglier with red hair

**maknae:** bitch since when  
**maknae:** also too late yoojung has started apply the bleach  
**maknae:** there is no going back now

**ahjussi 2:** ur gonna straight up look like a cherry tomato with red hair

**maknae:** guess imma be the cutest cherry tomato then


	6. animal crossing and not-dates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uyu is back!! now with new nicknames (accurate to their hair colors, since yoojung used the leftover bleach and dye from woojin's hair to make hers pink):  
> \- strawberry >> woojin  
> \- peach >> yoojung

**[ milk (2) ]**

**strawberry:** i just remembered i have animal crossing downloaded on my phone  
**strawberry:** guess who aint doin their hw like they should now lmao

**peach:** that's honestly a Mood  
**peach:** u know what im still holding out for nintendogs for mobile like nintendo chop chop i want to raise and care for and play with puppies from the comfort of my phone  
**peach:** is that too much to ask

**strawberry:** apparently

**peach:** im going 2 send a strongly worded letter to nintendo demanding an explanation for this injustice

**strawberry:** u do that  
**strawberry:** meanwhile i am going 2 make myself comfy in a secluded area of the library and play pocket camp for the next several hours

**peach:** do u still keep that blanket in ur backpack

**strawberry:** is that even a question   
**strawberry:** of course i do  
**strawberry:** specifically for instances like this  
**strawberry:** or like, when im cold or need a pillow while i sleep in the library

**peach:** u know that’s actually really smart  
**peach:** i’m going to start carrying around a blanket now

**strawberry:** My Impact  
**strawberry:** also idk why more people dont bring one with them to campus like u dont have 2 be ashamed this is college no one is gonna care if you’re wrapped up in a blanket in ur pajamas in the library at 2pm  
**strawberry:** if anything they’re gonna   
**strawberry:** we’ve all seen weirder shit    
****

**strawberry:** holy shit someone just saw me  
**strawberry:** oH NO  
**strawberry:** ITS HYUNGSEOB   
**strawberry:** FUCK SAVE ME   
**strawberry:** I DONT WANT HIM 2 SEE ME LIKE THIS

**peach:** didnt u just say people dont have to be ashamed to be seen in a blanket on campus

**strawberry:** SHUT UP  
**strawberry:** FUCK HE NOTICED ME PLAYING AC:PC BC I WAS COMPLAINING TO MYSELF ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO FIND A FUCKING HORNED DYNASTID AND NOW HE WANTS TO HANG OUT AND PLAY WITH ME  
**strawberry:** WHAT DO I DO

**peach:** this is an Opportunity  
**peach:** take it  
**peach:** play animal crossing with ur boy

**strawberry:** OKAY I WILL  
**strawberry:** ALSO HE’S NOT MY BOY  
**strawberry:** DONT TEXT ME ANYTHING I DONT WANT HIM SO SEE ANY WEIRD MESSAGES

**peach:** no promises

**strawberry:** FUCK YOU  
**strawberry:** I’LL TEXT U AS SOON AS THIS INTERACTION CONCLUDES BYE SEE YOU LATER

 

☆☆☆

 

**strawberry:** hi im back now

**peach:** so how was ur date w/ hyungseob

**strawberry:** it wasn’t a date  
**strawberry:** we just played animal crossing  
**strawberry:** and drank coffee  
**strawberry:** …...and maybe cuddled a little bit

**peach:** it was absolutely a date

**strawberry:** STOP  
**strawberry:** it wasnt a date

**peach:** mmhhhmmm sure  
**peach:** i repeat: how was the date

**strawberry:** i repeat: it wasn’t a date  
**strawberry:** we literally just played animal crossing for like three hours and talked about classes and stuff  
**strawberry:** he said he didnt recognize me at first bc of my hair but it was nice and it suited me  
**strawberry:** i think he fell asleep at one point for a little bit but idk if i was just imagining things bc his head was against my shoulder and he didnt move for like 15 mins and i was afraid to move and see if he was in case he actually was and i woke him up

**peach:** awwww that’s cute  
**peach:** tbh seriously u should just ask him out like what’s the worst that could happen my dude lmao

**strawberry:** ???  
**strawberry:** where did the bullying from just a moment ago go

**peach:** \- kang mina  
**peach:** (yoojung’s roommate)

**strawberry:** oh  
**strawberry:** that makes more sense  
**strawberry:** hello mina-ssi  
**strawberry:** why do you have yoojung’s phone

**peach:** im not gonna lie to u woojin  
**peach:** yoojung was straight up reading ur texts aloud and we were discussing ur love life  
**peach:** but then she went 2 go get our takeout from the lobby but let her phone in the room, unlocked, with ur chat up  
**peach:** i was invested  & couldnt wait until she came back to continue her dramatic reading so i took it upon myself to read the new messages   
**peach:** also fyi i agree with yoojung that was totally a date

**strawberry:** IT WASNT A DATE

**peach:** also would u be willing 2 send before & after selcas of ur hair  
**peach:** i want to see this transformation

**strawberry:** sure why not  
**strawberry:** [woojinwithbrownhair.png]  
**strawberry:** [woojinwithredhair.png]

**peach:** oh damn  
**peach:** it looks *chef kiss noise* magnifiqué

**strawberry:** i  
**strawberry:** why did you write it like that  
**strawberry:** and why did i imagine you doing the action and saying that with a terrible french accent

**peach:** it's a complement just accept it  
**peach:** oh shit she’s back  
**peach:** we will get back 2 u in a hot second we are starving

**strawberry:** ok  
**strawberry:** u know i should probably eat too brb

**peach:** wait woojin come back

**strawberry:** what is it

**peach:** if u get ur cherry tomato ass over here you can have some of our food  
**peach:** i was thinking with my stomach when i ordered bc bitch i was starving  
**peach:** now i Realize we have way too much to eat between just the two of us

**strawberry:** omw now

**peach:** also we can talk continue discussing ur date w/ hyungseob when u get here

**strawberry:** SHUT UP IT WAS NOT A DATE

**peach:** JUST ADMIT IT WAS YOU COWARD


	7. dead roommates and volcano ramen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is 101% inspired by jihoon eating that volcano ramen on zero base (bc,,, we all know what that can sound like,,,,, minhyuk assumes the same)

**[ the better 2park (2) ]**

**park woojin:** hey minhyuk  
**park woojin:** can you check on jihoon  
**park woojin:** bc it heard what sounded like noises of pain coming from his room when i left the dorm this morning

 **park minhyuk:** okay 1) if he was in pain why would u just leave  
**park minhyuk:** and 2) how do u even know i am at the room rn

 **park woojin:** uh 1) bc i had to go to class  
**park woojin:** and 2) bc u have exactly zero classes before noon and refuse to wake up earlier than 10:30am

 **park minhyuk:** ,,,, u rite  
**park minhyuk:** also woojin u know this wouldve been a perfect opportunity to skip class right

 **park woojin:** shit bitch ur right  
**park woojin:** fuck im already in class i cant dip out now my professor saw me, we made eye contact and she smiled at me  
**park woojin:** i did not come all the way here just to get an absence,,, this is on u now minhyuk  
**park woojin:** just check on jihoon to make sure he's not dying or smth bc i dont want 2 come home to a dead body

 **park minhyuk:** this,,, could be my only chance tho

 **park woojin:** minhyuk  
**park woojin:** if he dies your gonna be the number one suspect for his murder  
**park woojin:** u know that right

 **park minhyuk:** …  
**park minhyuk:** fine

 **park woojin:** thanks  
**park woojin:** keep me updated i wanna know if he dead or not

 **park minhyuk:** i  
**park minhyuk:** you just said i would be a suspect for his murder if he died  
**park minhyuk:** why would i tell you if he’s dead

 **park woojin:** im trying 2 help here  
**park woojin:** it’d be more suspicious if u didnt tell me he’s dead  
**park woojin:** like ur trying to cover up a murder, or something,,,,,

 **park minhyuk:** the fact we are even having this conversation is suspicious  
**park minhyuk:** just admit you want me to get convicted for a murder i did not commit

 **park woojin:** mayhaps  
**park woojin:** you have threatened his life several times so i mean it wouldnt be out of line for you to actually murder him u know  
**park woojin:** and if you murder jihoon i wont have to deal with either of your dumb asses so

 **park minhyuk:** woojin i am Not going to go into his room

 **park woojin:** why not  
**park woojin:** how else are you going to know if he's dead

 **park minhyuk:** he's making noises he's not dead

 **park woojin:** he could be dying tho u dont know  
**park woojin:** those could be dying noises

 **park minhyuk:** im pretty sure he's not dying

 **park woojin:** why what kind of noises is he making

 **park minhyuk:** noises that make /me/ wanna die  
**park minhyuk:** im going to pretend like this never happened im just gonna exit the room and go live with eunwoo and bin hyungs for the rest of my life

 **park woojin:** that doesnt tell me what kind of noises he was making  
**park woojin:** for all i know he could be singing the naruto theme song and u could just so happen to hate naruto for some reason?

 **park minhyuk:** You Know Exactly What I Am Talking About

 **park woojin:** no i dont  
**park woojin:** please enlighten me

 **park minhyuk:** no  
**park minhyuk:** leave me alone  
**park minhyuk:** im never going to talk to you again  
**park minhyuk:** dont even make eye contact with me  
**park minhyuk:** you did this on purpose

 **park woojin:** did what  
**park woojin:** i have no idea what you're talking about  
**park woojin:** jihoon legit sounded like he was in pain  & crying or smth and i tried to text him to ask if he was alright on my way to class since my professor literally marks tardiness as an absence but he didnt answer so here i am, thinking abt how one of my roommates could be potentially dying in the middle of class

 **park woojin:** minhyuk  
**park woojin:** minhyuk  
**park woojin:** mINHYUK  
**park woojin:** MINHYUK  
**park woojin:** STOP IGNORING ME  
**park woojin:** M IN HYUK  
**park woojin:** M  
**park woojin:** I  
**park woojin:** N  
**park woojin:** H  
**park woojin:** Y  
**park woojin:** U  
**park woojin:** K

 **park minhyuk:** LEAVE ME ALONE LET ME EAT MY BREAKFAST IN PEACE  
**park minhyuk:** YOU ALREADY RUINED TODAY FOR ME

 **park woojin:** IT’S BRUNCH YOU IDIOT  
**park woojin:** IT’S TOO LATE FOR BREAKFAST

 **park minhyuk:** IT’S A LATE BREAKFAST

 **park woojin:** TELL ME IF JIHOON IS DEAD OR NOT

 **park minhyuk:** HE’S NOT FUCKING DEAD LEAVE ME ALONE

 **park woojin:** did you go in his room  
**park woojin:** or are you just telling me lies so i’ll leave you alone

 **park minhyuk:** [jihoonfeelingtheeffectofthespicyramen.mp3]  
**park minhyuk:** does that sound like someone dying to you

 **park woojin:** what the fuck  
**park woojin:** why the fuck  
**park woojin:** google search how do i bleach my ears  
**park woojin:** why did u send me that and how do i erase it from my memory forever

 **park minhyuk:** you're the one who asked for it  
**park minhyuk:** i ask myself that question every minute it continues occurring  
**park minhyuk:** why does he have to do that while im in the dorm  
**park minhyuk:** like have some decency the walls are thin

 **park woojin:** maybe he's exploring his newfound choking kink

 **park minhyuk:** sTOP

 **park woojin:** ur the one who started that u have to take responsibility  
**park woojin:** u know maybe he’s just stressed

 **park minhyuk:** i dont care

 **park woojin:** u seemed to care abt it a lil bit earlier there

 **park minhyuk:** i’m blocking your number


	8. justifiable homicide and pictures that rock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the og squad,,,,,,, makes an appearance
> 
> \- a singular axe >> minhyuk  
> \- likey is still a bop >> seongwoo  
> \- i love car eunwoo >> bin  
> \- i'm sorry doyeon >> yoojung  
> \- an actual model >> eunwoo  
> \- jin sunbaenim >> doyeon

**[ fanta is the superior soda brand (6) ]**

**a singular axe:** is it illegal to kill your roommate

**likey is still a bop:** which roommate

**a singular axe:** let me rephrase that:  
 **a singular axe:** is it illegal to kill your roommate(s)

 **i love car eunwoo:** im pretty sure any kind of murder is illegal

 **i’m sorry doyeon:** “pretty sure”

 **an actual model:** If the murder is in self-defense it is not illegal, it’s called justifiable homicide.

 **a singular axe:** so if they try to murder me i could murder them and that'd be justifiable homicide?

 **an actual model:** Correct.

**a singular axe:** interesting,,,

**an actual model:** I mean, depending on what the court rules.   
**an actual model:** They could decide it was unjustified and you'd go to jail.

**jin sunbaenim:** u know out of all of us i thought yoojung would be the most likely to commit a murder   
**jin sunbaenim:** but here we are

**likey is still a bop:** tbh me too

**i’m sorry doyeon:** who says i havent already committed a murder

**i love car eunwoo:** if you have then i am owed quite a bit of money

**i’m sorry doyeon:** you really bet on whether or not i’ve committed a murder?  
**i’m sorry doyeon:** u know i want 2 be surprised but im not

**i love car eunwoo:** so can u either confirm or deny that you are a murderer so i can get my money

**jin sunbaenim:** oh hell yeah

**i love car eunwoo:** is that u confirming that yoojung has in indeed committed murder, doyeon?

**jin sunbaenim:** what **  
jin sunbaenim:** oh  
 **jin sunbaenim:** no  
 **jin sunbaenim:** sorry my prof just brought bags of candy to encourage class participation and i got excited

**likey is still a bop:** that’s relatable

**i love car eunwoo:** damn i wish my professors would bring candy to class

**jin sunbaenim:** one of the candies he is giving out are dove chocolates and i got one just now and you know how they have little sayings on inside the inside?   
 **jin sunbaenim:** mine was “it’s never too late!”

**likey is still a bop:** why is that vaguely threatening

**a singular axe:** too late for what

**i’m sorry doyeon:** i dont think it’s possible to get more vague than that

**jin sunbaenim:** at least it wasn’t one of the “love is the greatest adventure!” ones

**likey is still a bop:** false  
**likey is still a bop:** death is the greatest adventure  
**likey is still a bop:** according to peter pan

**i’m sorry doyeon:** peter pan is a questionable source to get information from  
**i’m sorry doyeon:** im pretty sure he murdered children

**a singular axe:** how can you say that yoojung  
**a singular axe:** you literally just said you might be a murder

**an actual model:** I can confirm that Peter Pan has most likely murdered children at some point in his life.

**i’m sorry doyeon:** i may be a suspected murderer but you dont have any proof so  
**i’m sorry doyeon:** suck it  
**i’m sorry doyeon:** also u just asked about justifiable homicide??   
**i’m sorry doyeon:** dont be a hypocrite minhyuk

**i love car eunwoo:** wow  
**i love car eunwoo:** need some ice for that burn

**a singular axe:**  suddenly i dont have a best friend

**i love car eunwoo:** ok sure  
 **i love car eunwoo:** hey do u guys wanna see a baby picture of minhyuk

**jin sunbaenim:** yes!!

**a singular axe:** why do you have a picture of me as a baby on your phone

 **i love car eunwoo:** [anactualliteralpebble.png]

**a singular axe:** i hate you

**i’m sorry doyeon:** aw you were so cute  
**i’m sorry doyeon:** what happened

**a singular axe:** shut up you gremlin

**likey is still a bop:** SDGFDSHFSJFAS

**i’m sorry doyeon:** literally fucking fight me minhyuk

**i love car eunwoo:** [agroupofrocks.png]  
 **i love car eunwoo:** a beautiful family portrait

**jin sunbaenim:** who wants to place bets on this baby fight

**i love car eunwoo:** [binandeunwoowithposingwitharock.png]  
 **i love car eunwoo:** the three amigos

**likey is still a bop:** i wanna place bets on minhyuk bc he is technically more skilled than yoojung but pure rage overpowers any skills possessed

**jin sunbaenim:** ur right

**i love car eunwoo:** [arockwithsunglassesonit.png]  
 **i love car eunwoo:** minhyuk when did you get so cool

**jin sunbaenim:** how many of those did you take

**a singular axe:** bIN STOP

**i love car eunwoo:** more than i shouldve

**an actual model:** I saw his camera roll, he took over a hundred photos of the rocks.  
**an actual model:** Also, Bin has a story to tell you all.

**i love car eunwoo:** oH YEAH I FORGOT THANKS FOR REMINDING ME  
 **i love car eunwoo:** THE TALENT SCOUT HAS RETURNED  
 **i love car eunwoo:** EXCEPT THIS TIME HE CAME FOR ME INSTEAD OF EUNWOO  
 **i love car eunwoo:** WE WERE JUST OUT ON A DATE AND HE APPROACHED OUR TABLE AND OBVI EUNWOO RECOGNIZED HIM AND OPENED HIS MOUTH TO REJECT HIM IMMEDIATELY BUT THE GUY WAS LIKE “im not here for you” AND TURNED TO ME AND GAVE ME HIS CARD AND THEN LEFT

**i’m sorry doyeon:** is he like...stalking u two or smth wtf

**likey is still a bop:** i think he has figured out that you two are a package deal

**i love car eunwoo:** IM STILL SHOOK LIKE

**a singular axe:** so are u gonna do an audition with them or?

**i love car eunwoo:** i….dont know  
**i love car eunwoo:** i mean obviously they want me for dance but idk if they’re coming to me to make me into an idol, a backup dancer, or like a choreographer or smth  
**i love car eunwoo:** but like? what if they make eunwoo and i break up if we join the company together

**likey is still a bop:** well if they want u im sure u could cut a deal with them  
**likey is still a bop:** i mean this talent scout did stalk eunwoo for almost a year  
**likey is still a bop:** that’s a lot of dedication for just one person

**i love car eunwoo:** it’s bc he’s handsome and talented  
**i love car eunwoo:** who wouldn’t want my beautiful man

**likey is still a bop:** but now they’ve moved onto u bin

**an actual model:** You’re handsome and talented too, Bin.  
**an actual model:** We can talk about it later, you don’t have to decide anything right now. Especially if they’re going to implement the same tactics for scouting they used on me on you. No rush.

**i love car eunwoo:** how did i end up with a literal angel as my boyfriend?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some notes:  
> \- minhyuk's nickname is a reference to a post it he answered where everyone was asked what three things they'd bring to a deserted island with them and the other five answered normally while he just said "a singular axe" dhsjsjs  
> \- eunwoo's nicknames are almost always set by bin  
> \- yoojung and doyeon's nicknames reference to the fact that doyeon and bts' jin share a birthday and yoojung sang happy birthday for jin instead of doyeon when they passed a bus with his face on it (rip dodaeng jdhdjdjd)
> 
>  
> 
> also tag urself im bin continuing to send pictures to the gc even tho an entirely new coversation started akshdjksa


	9. exposing your friends (pt. 2) and poor life choices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jihoon!! finally makes an appearance!! only for a few lines tho lmao (his nickname is where's waldo)

**[ this is a minion-free zone (14) ]**

**daniel radcliffe:** what if i just…...shaved my head

 **dumpling head:** you'd be bald

 **daniel radcliffe:** well ur not wrong

 **i love u boa sunbaenim:** i would pay u ten dollars if you shaved off your eyebrows  
**i love u boa sunbaenim:** five for each eyebrow

 **daniel radcliffe:** despite how tempting that offer is i am not going to shave off my eyebrows

 **i love u boa sunbaenim:** that’s good bc i dont have ten dollars

 **smol:** god that’s a mood

 **tol:** is that why you made me buy you a bagel this morning

 **smol:** yes

 **aptenodytes forsteri:** Is it that time of year again when you want to change your hair, Daniel?

 **daniel radcliffe:** yes  
**daniel radcliffe:** but it’s really damaged after the silver so logically my brain was like shave it all off

 **io:** your brain is that kermit meme

 **goldfish cracker:** what colors have you done already?

 **daniel radcliffe:** pink all through freshman year, a range of blonds from white to dirty over the past two years, brown for like a week, and silver

 **dumpling head:** how do u still have hair

 **daniel radcliffe:** we just dont know  
**daniel radcliffe:** idk if i just want to do lots of treatments to my hair and then go to another color or dye it brown and wait a while

 **smol:** mr ong seongwoo what are ur opinions on the matter

 **ongrora borealis:** any color is a good color

 **smol:** source: him yelling in our gc when you dyed your hair silver for two straight hours

 **ongrora borealis:** dONT expose me like this

 **smol:** he’s ur boyfriend he should know embarrassing shit abt u

 **daniel radcliffe:** aw babe

 **tol:** i would like to add to this by saying he spent a good five hours editing a you so precious when you smile video with your pictures

 **ongrora borealis:** y’all are fake friends bye im leaving

**[ ongrora borealis ] left the chat**

**[ daniel radcliffe ] added [ ong seongwoo ] to the chat**

**[ daniel radcliffe ] changed [ ong seongwoo ]’s nickname to [ my fuckin’ cinnamon apple ]**

**daniel radcliffe:** babe dont leave i think it’s cute :((

 **my fuckin’ cinnamon apple:** …  
**my fuckin’ cinnamon apple:** dont frown you’ll get wrinkles

 **daniel radcliffe:** :))

 **my fuckin’ cinnamon apple: ♪** you so… fuckin'… precious… when you… smile **♫**

 **daniel radcliffe:** :))))))

 **smol:** that just looks like you have five double chins

 **i love u boa sunbaenim:** what is this i thought we banned pda in the gc

 **my fuckin’ cinnamon apple:** #noregrets

 **daniel radcliffe:** oops sorry i forgot

 **i love u boa sunbaenim:** how could you forget u were the cause of it  
**i love u boa sunbaenim:** i still dont know how you two managed to send 2644 messages in the span of an hour and a half

 **cooking mama:** that’s the power of love i guess

 **dumpling head:** god i hope a car hits me on the way to class so i dont have to go

 **wmyb (laugh track ver):** I hope a car hits you too

 **dumpling head:** hEY

 **wmyb (laugh track ver):** u literally just said u wanted a car to hit you why cant i want it to hit you too

 **cooking mama:** it’s because you have malicious intent sungwoon  
**cooking mama:** but jaehwan if you get hit by a car you’ll have to pay medical bills AND have to catch up on whatever work you missed while you were in the hospital (if u did break any bones and had to stay for a while)

 **dumpling head:** that’s the opposite of what i want  
**dumpling head:** my goal is immediate death

 **goldfish cracker:** goodbye  
**goldfish cracker:** i wont miss your leftover stealing ass

 **dumpling head:** sewoon,,,,  
**dumpling head:** how could you do me like this

 **goldfish cracker:** easily

 **smol:** goddamn that was cold

 **metamorphic:** says the girl who is a potential murderer?

 **smol:** listen here biTCH  
**smol:** you have no evidence  
**smol:** and you asked about legal murder so who is the real potential murderer here

 **cooking mama:** do i even want to know

 **tol:** no

 **my fuckin’ cinnamon apple:** no

 **gru:** Probably not.

 **io:** no

 **cooking mama:** alright then  
**cooking mama:** anybody else have anything to say that doesn’t involve murder?

 **wmyb (laugh track ver):** oh yeah i have some news

 **aptenodytes forsteri:** If this is about you convincing Donghan that Kenta wasn’t actually Japanese that isn’t news

 **wmyb (laugh track ver):** that’s not it  
**wmyb (laugh track ver):** but that was funny i had him convinced for a whole three hours and he made kenta show him his passport before he chased me across campus  
**wmyb (laugh track ver):** i tripped and skinned my knee but it was worth it

 **cooking mama:** your news?

 **wmyb (laugh track ver):** oh yeah right  
**wmyb (laugh track ver):** ok so u know how u guys advised me against posting a missed connections craigslist ad

 **aptenodytes forsteri:** Hyung you did not

 **wmyb (laugh track ver):** I DID  
**wmyb (laugh track ver):** AND YA BOI GOT A DATE  
**wmyb (laugh track ver):** WITH THE SPICY BOY

 **cooking mama:** i want to say i cant believe this but this is exactly something you’d do

 **daniel radcliffe:** who needs tinder when you have craigslist missed connections ads

 **dumpling head:** MY ADVICE WORKED  
**dumpling head:** WHY DID U GUYS EVER DOUBT ME IM FULL OF GREAT IDEAS

 **goldfish cracker:** name one other good idea you’ve ever had

 **dumpling head:** …  
**dumpling head:** pursuing music as a career?

 **my fuckin’ cinnamon apple:** that question mark makes it seem like you dont know if is a good idea or not

 **dumpling head:** okay maybe i make poor life choices dont we all

 **metamorphic:** looks at bin

 **io:** DONT SHADE ME LIKE THIS MINHYUK  
**io:** i am well aware i make lots of poor life choices

 **smol:** i would like to take this opportunity to side eye all of the fanta gc except for doyeon and eunwoo

 **daniel radcliffe:** @ babe: why are your friends so shady

 **my fuckin’ cinnamon apple:** idk but every single one em are snakes  
**my fuckin’ cinnamon apple:** except eunwoo

 **tol:** what about me?

 **my fuckin’ cinnamon apple:** yoojung makes you a snake by association

 **i love u boa sunbaenim:** ok i love all this tea but  
**i love u boa sunbaenim:** sungwoon hyung how do u know you’re not being catfished by some creepy old person on the internet

 **wmyb (laugh track ver):** uh bc we met in real life duh  
**wmyb (laugh track ver):** i may be dumb but im not an idiot

 **daniel racliffe:** are u sure

 **wmyb (laugh track ver):** ur one to talk buddy

 **where’s waldo:** have you heard of this thing called stranger danger?

 **wmyb (laugh track ver):** ur just jealous bc imma get some & u aren’t lmao

 **where’s waldo:** that is a hard negative

 **i love u boa sunbaenim:** hmm sounds like u do need to get some  
**i love u boa sunbaenim:** also by “some” do you mean “affection and validation”

 **where’s waldo:** im going to strangle you in ur sleep

 **wmyb (laugh track ver):** yes

 **daniel radcliffe:** uh that’s the biggest mood

 **cooking mama:** children please no murder

 **dumpling head:** which one tho

 **daniel radcliffe:** take a wild guess

 **dumpling head:** damn i didnt know you were a murder daniel

 **my fuckin’ cinnamon apple:** please god not this again


	10. wanna go eat ramen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally,,, some 2park action
> 
> (also idk if it's obvious or not but jihoon accidentally texts minhyuk bc their chat moved up to the top of his messages when minhyuk messaged him, and jihoon just clicked the top chat without thinking)
> 
> (also also please remember that in korean, if someone asks you if you want to eat ramen, they could be asking if u wanna netflix & chill lmao)

**[ park jihoon & park minhyuk (2) ]**

**park minhyuk:** so………  
**park minhyuk:** woojin has been hanging out w/ yoojung quite a lot lately…

**park minhyuk:** do u think he has a thing for her  
**park minhyuk:** he knows she’s gay, right?  
**park minhyuk:** also she had a long-suffering crush on her best friend

**park jihoon:** u wanna go eat ramen after class?

**park minhyuk:** what

**park jihoon:** oh  
**p** **ark jihoon:** oH  
**park jihoon:** OH MY GOD  
**park jihoon:** i didnt mean it like that i literally meant go and eat ramen, not /go and eat ramen/ i swear  
**park jihoon:** like, with the noodles and shit  
**park jihoon:** ok im going to leave now goodbye

**park jihoon:** OH FUCK  
**park jihoon:** THAT WAS MEANT FOR WOOJIN NOT YOU MINHYUK  
**park jihoon:** FUCK ME HONESTLY

**park jihoon:** WAIT NEVER MIND DONT MIND ME IM JUST TRYING TO EXPRESS MY EMOTIONS THAT WAS NOT MEANT TO BE LITERAL  
**park jihoon:** THE RAMEN IS LITERAL THE FUCK ME IS METAPHORICAL  
**park jihoon:** WOOJIN AND I ARENT GOING TO FUCK  
**park jihoon:** WE LITERALLY TALKED ABOUT EATING RAMEN EARLIER TODAY SO I THOUGHT ID SUGGEST IT SINCE WE HAVE CLASSES THAT END AT THE SAME TIME  
**park jihoon:** I DONT WANT YOU TO FUCK ME EITHER  
**park jihoon:** I DONT EVEN LIKE YOU ANYWAY WHY WOULD I WANT YOU TO FUCK ME  
**park jihoon:** @ GOD WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS  
**park jihoon:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH KILL ME  
**park jihoon:** IM GONNA GO CHUCK MY PHONE INTO THE OCEAN AND DROP OUT OF COLLEGE  
**park jihoon:** DONT MIND ME

**park jihoon:** I CAN SEE YOU READING THESE PARK MINHYUK  
**park jihoon:** IF YOU EVER BRING THIS UP EVER TO ANYONE ILL HAVE TO KILL YOU  
**park jihoon:** ESPECIALLY WOOJIN ILL KILL BOTH OF YOU  
**park jihoon:** DONT THINK I WONT

**park minhyuk:** are you done

**park jihoon:** with life? yes  
**park jihoon:** i no longer live on the metaphysical plane  
**park jihoon:** my being has transcended the fuck away from a human existence 

**park minhyuk:** you didn’t answer my question

**park jihoon:** what question

**park minhyuk:** the question i asked before that little meltdown you had there happened

**park jihoon:** oh  
**park jihoon:** fuck i dont know

**park minhyuk:** well uh you should find out

**park jihoon:** uh why the fuck should i do that

**park minhyuk:** well,, uh i now have some pretty incriminating blackmail material  
**park minhyuk:** (eyes emoji)

**park jihoon:** FUCK YOU

**park minhyuk:** i thought you wanted me to fuck you, not the other way around

**park jihoon:** SHUT THE FUCK UP  
**park jihoon:** THERE WILL BE NO FUCKING  
**park jihoon:** ITS JUST AN EXPRESSION

**park minhyuk:** sure (eyes emoji)

**park jihoon:** I DONT SHUT UP

**park minhyuk:** so are you going to find out if woojin has a thing for yoojung or am i actually going to have to carry out this blackmail

**park jihoon:** god you’re so fucking annoying  
**park jihoon:** i’ll try but i make no promises

**park minhyuk:** well you better deliver or else

**park jihoon:** i hate you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jihoon u dont sound very convincing with vehement denial


	11. existential crises and gay = bad at math

**[  I can be your angle….or yuor devil (10) ]**

**huang bieber:** why is a hamburger called a hamburger if it contains no ham

 **magumagu:** stop  
**magumagu:** it’s too early for me to be having another existential crisis

 **old no bones jung:** It’s 4 pm

 **magumagu:** yes  
**magumagu:** your point?  
**magumagu:** time’s an illusion  
**magumagu:** we’re all gonna die someday

 **metamong:** daehwi are you okay

 **hwang minhyun’s actual son:** he isn’t  
**hwang minhyun’s actual son:** he just binge watched a whole bunch of episodes of how the universe works and is laying on the floor having an existential crisis

 **magumagu:** do you ever think about how we as humans are just an insignificant speck in the vast ocean of the universe. like just in the scale of our own galaxy. we're practically nonexistent if it comes to whole universe and nothing we will ever do in the history of the world let alone our own lives wont matter in the end because we’re all going to die in either some fiery explosion of our own sun that we wont even realize is happening bc it takes 8 minutes for light to reach our planet but the sun will literally bake our planet before that 8 minutes or the universe will just collapse on itself and form a whole new one where intelligent life would potentially start again and we’re just stuck in this never ending cycle wondering about life’s mysteries

 **wink boy:** holy shit

 **hwang minhyun’s actual son:** he’s been like this for a whole hour

 **chick 1:** @justin it’s called a hamburger bc it originated from sailors from hamburg, germany

 **huang bieber:** did you just google that

 **chick 1:** no i just know lots of weird obscure food facts

 **metamong:** why am i not surprised

 **chick 2:** tbh i’d be more surprised if he didn’t know that

 **huang bieber:** hm. u rite

 **egg:** [woojinfacedowninhistextbookwrappedinhisblanket.png]  
**egg:** god, how i wish that were me

 **old no bones jung:** That position looks so uncomfortable

 **magumagu:** how is he even sleeping like that

 **egg:** idk

 **wink boy:** daehwi i thought you were having an existential crisis

 **magumagu:** i’m over it now  
**magumagu:** i’ve accepted our fate of living lives that are meaningless in comparison to the entire universe

 **metamong:** well that was quick

 **wink boy:** also? ive seen woojin deadass lay face down on the practice room floor and fall asleep  
**wink boy:** this is nothing  
**wink boy:** he can fall asleep literally anywhere

 **egg:** yeah well that's great but he's supposed to be helping me with my math homework

 **metamong:** aren’t you taking college algebra

 **egg:** yeah

 **metamong:** that’s easy tho

 **egg:** IM GAY I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO MATH

 **metamong:** why are you saying that like it's cause and effect

 **egg:** bc im gay. and cant do math  
**egg:** cause: am gay  
**egg:** effect: cant do math  
**egg:** hypothesis: valid  
**egg:** evidence: my failing math grade  &   [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIE4T4m9KGc ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIE4T4m9KGc)

**old no bones jung:** That’s just correlation not causation Hyungseob

 **hwang minhyun’s actual son:** yeah i’m gay and i know how to do math?  
**hwang minhyun’s actual son:** so ur hypothesis is wrong and ur evidence fabricated

 **old no bones jung:** Are you failing your science class too?

 **egg:** FINE IM DUMB I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO MATH

 **metamong:** oh, so you finally admit you’re dumb

 **egg:** u bITCH

 **metamong:** you’re the one who said it not me

 **huang bieber:** he’s got you there

 **egg:** suddenly i dont have a family anymore  
**egg:** bc they all BETRAYED me

 **huang bieber:** i didnt even do anything tho

 **egg:** u aided and abetted **  
** **egg:** ANYWAYS MOVING ON  
**egg:** i just realized something

 **magumagu:** what

**[ egg ] changed [ nation’s dark past ]’s nickname to [ mcmuffin ]**

**egg:** now we match

 **magumagu:** oh my god

 **egg:** since he isnt awake to change it back and probably wont realize i changed it ehehe  
**egg:** also. should i stack things on woojin to see how many i can do before he wakes up

 **chick 2:** what are u going to stack on him tho

 **egg:** i have a big bag of fun sized candy bars  
**egg:** so those

 **hwang minhyun’s actual son:** why do you have those just....with you

 **egg:** i dont tell u how to live your life so u dont get to tell me how to live mine  
**egg:** also it was on sale and i dont have self control

 **chick 1:** what a mood  
**chick 1:** also hyung where are you

 **egg:** im not telling you bc i know if i do you’re gonna sprint in here and steal the whole fucking bag  
**egg:** so dont even try

 **chick 1:** it was worth a shot

 **egg:** [asinglecandyonwoojinshead.png]  
**egg:** the first one has been stacked

 **magumagu:** have fun getting murdered when he wakes up

 **egg:** [fivecandiesonwoojin.png]  
**egg:** he wont murder me

 **magumagu:** how sure are you

 **egg:** [timelapseofhyungseobputtingcandyonwoojin.mp4]  
**egg:** like 80% sure

 **magumagu:** that’s pretty confident

 **egg:** [anothertimelapseofhyungseobputtingcandyonwoojin.mp4]  
**egg:** what can i say i’m a confident man

 **hwang minhyun’s actual son:** how many candies is that i cant tell now

 **egg:** uh let me count real quick  
**egg:** 23  
**egg:** it was 24 but one just slid off him

 **metamong:** what are you going to do if you run out of candy

 **egg:** i wont there are 60 pieces in this bag  
**egg:** if i reach 60 i will be thoroughly impressed  
**egg:** in both myself and woojin’s ability to sleep though this

 **huang bieber:** i bet you wont even make it to 30

 **egg:** [yetanothertimelapseofhyungseobputtingcandyonwoojin.mp4]  
**egg:** get rekt bitch  
**egg:** we up to 32 now

 **wink boy:** i cant believe we’ve all resorted to watching hyungseob stack candies on woojin for entertainment

 **magumagu:** i can  
**magumagu:** today’s been particularly uneventful

 **hwang minhyun's actual son:** you say that like you didn’t just have an existential crisis 30 mins ago

 **magumagu:** what’s in the past is in the past  
**magumagu:** i live in the now

 **huang bieber:** you sound like you’re abt to drop the hottest self help book of 2018

 **magumagu:** who says im not

 **egg:** [timelapsenumber4ofhyungseobputtingcandyonwoojin.mp4]

 **metamong:** how many is that now

 **egg:** 39  
**egg:** oh shit he’s waking up

 **magumagu:** rip

 **egg:** “why did i just wake up covered in candy”  
**egg:** “i mean not that im complaining but”

 **chick 1:** hard same

 **mcmuffin:** i hate you all  
**mcmuffin:** except hyungseob since i just got free candy

 **chick 1:** hYUNG

 **chick 2:** the betrayal

 **wink boy:** oh woojin since ur awake now i need 2 what u want for takeout for dinner  
**wink boy:** satan and i have already already decided what we want so we’re waiting on you

 **mcmuffin:** nothing

 **magumagu:** does that mean ur not eating?  
**magumagu:** woojin u need to eat

 **mcmuffin:** what  
**mcmuffin:** no  
**mcmuffin:** i’m eating  
**mcmuffin:** i have plans tho so do whatev idc

 **magumagu:** i, as a concerned friend, need 2 know where ur going

 **mcmuffin:** that new cat cafe that opened a couple blocks away from campus

 **magumagu:** cafe food is not substantial enough for dinner

 **mcmuffin:** we plan on eating street food too chill

 **chick 1:** we?  
**chick 1:** (eyes emoji)

 **old no bones jung:** So who are you going on a date with Woojin

 **mcmuffin:** oh my god shut up it’s not a date

 **wink boy:** cat cafe? street food?  
**wink boy:** sounds like a date to me

 **mcmuffin:** it’s !! not !! a !! date !!

 **hwang minhyun’s actual son:** so who u going on a not-date with woojin

 **mcmuffin:** 1\. it’s not a date  
**mcmuffin:** 2\. choi yoojung  
**mcmuffin:** god you all are as bad as her

 **magumagu:** why u goin to a cat cafe w/ yoojung if it’s not a date then (eyes emoji)

 **mcmuffin:** bc she asked if i wanted to go? and said she would pay?  
**mcmuffin:** am i one to pass up free food

 **wink boy:** so to clear everything up: u dont have a crush on yoojung and your date is definitely not a date

 **mcmuffin:** u think me, a whole gay, would have a crush on yoojung?  
**mcmuffin:** also she likes [redacted], who is definitely not me so??  
**mcmuffin:** also:

**[ mcmuffin ] added [ choi yoojung ] to the chat**

**mcmuffin:** yoojung are we going on a date

 **choi yoojung:** ew wtf no

**[ mcmuffin ] kicked [ choi yoojung ] out of the chat**

**mcmuffin:** see  
****

**magumagu:** okay, point made


	12. buzzfeed unsolved and double agents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chat 1: hyungseob & woojin  
> chat 2: 2park (duh)  
> chat 3: hyungseob & yoojung

**[ is it gay if-- (2) ]**

**yes:** yOOJUNG  
**yes:** I CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT TO TELL YOU WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED TO ME YESTERDAY

 **yes:** ok so u know how i was going to help hyungseob w/ his math hw bc he’s like. shit at math? i guess i was more tired than i thought from dance practice bc like i fuckin fell asleep face down in my textbook like i dont even remember closing my eyes like one minute i was explaining linear systems and next thing i knew i was waking up covered in funsize chocolates and he was trying really hard not to laugh  
**yes:** GOD I COULDN’T EVEN BE MAD AT HIM  
**yes:** he just looked so cute all i could do was smile at him  
**yes:** like why does his face gotta look like that like it still felt like i was dreaming why are crushes like this  
**yes:** does he want me to die

 **yes:** g a s p  
**yes:** maybe i just uncovered his murder plot and he’s actually trying to kill me  
**yes:** ok i see how it is hyungseob  
**yes:** well ur plot is working  
**yes:** also? i would let him kill me so it’s not even a murder plot it’s like assisted suicide

 **yes:** like even right now im at his dorm bc he wanted someone to keep him company while he doing makeup for the dreams come true cover you guys are doing and im dying  
**yes:** he keeps turning around and asking me if it looks good and i just keep saying yes bc how am i physically supposed to say that it looks bad  
**yes:** like my brain is just over here playing shine by pentagon on repeat  
**yes:** the song reflects me scarily well atm  
**yes:** actually u know ing by my queen minzy also works  
**yes:** me: emotionally relates to every single song about one-sided love

 **yes:** hELP  
**yes:** MY DEATH IS IMMINENT  
**yes:** HE WANTS TO PRACTICE ON ME FOR THE BOSS COVER

 **yes:** i ran 2 the bathroom so i could deal with the fact that he’s gonna be in kissing distance of me b4 it actually happens  
**yes:** if this is how i die,,  
**yes:** tell jihoon he was the worst best friend i could ever ask for  
**yes:** and minhyuk that he should stop flirting with jihoon and just ask him out like i get ur mortal enemies or some shit but like come on  
**yes:** also ask doyeon out like it been years she aint gonna stop being friends with you just because you like her  
**yes:** i say, hypocritically

 **yes:** ok time 2 go to my death wish me luck

 **yes:** im out here dropping hints that i like hyungseob like  
**yes:** i [redacted] hyungseob  
**yes:** or: i [redacted] [redacted]  
**yes:** alternatively: [statement redacted]  
**yes:** or realistically:  
**yes:** yes that was me saying absolutely nothing

 **yes:** yoojung ur the worst u aint even reading these how am i supposed 2 talk abt my crush without some scathing insults and roasting to balance out the mushy feelings

 

☆☆☆

 

**[ satan & me (2) ]**

**park jihoon:** so i just watched all of the buzzfeed unsolved episodes and now i dont trust anyone  & cannot go to sleep

 **park minhyuk:** for why are you telling me this  
**park minhyuk:** also dont you have class tomorrow or smth  
**park minhyuk:** why tf would u do that to yourself

 **park jihoon:** today

 **park minhyuk:** what

 **park jihoon:** today  
**park jihoon:** i have class today  
**park jihoon:** in like 8 hrs  
**park jihoon:** it is 2:54 am

 **park minhyuk:** oh shit it is  
**park minhyuk:** what the fuck

 **park jihoon:** also i was only going to watch a couple episodes but then i got hooked  & couldnt stop until i watched all of them  
**park jihoon:** now im out here worried abt ghosts and demons

 **park minhyuk:** that sounds like a you problem

 **park jihoon:** and now im making it a you problem

 **park minhyuk:** fuck off

 **park jihoon:** dID YOU JUST HEAR THAT

 **park minhyuk:** oh my god calm the fuck down it’s me

 **park jihoon:** what the FUCK are you even doing in the kitchen

 **park minhyuk:** making ramen

 **park jihoon:** why are you making ramen at 3 am

 **park minhyuk:** because time is an illusion and im hungry

 **park jihoon:** make me some

 **park minhyuk:** no

 **park jihoon:** why tf not

 **park minhyuk:** get out of bed and make it urself u lazy fuck

 **park jihoon:** what if i do all the dishes

 **park minhyuk:** like All the dishes or just the dishes we would dirty making ramen

 **park jihoon:**..All the dishes?

 **park minhyuk:** ok fine deal

 

☆☆☆

 

**[ this is a gays only event go home (2) ]**

**gay for woojin:** [screenshot_2036.png]  
**gay for woojin:** [screenshot_2037.png]  
**gay for woojin:** uM?????

**gay for [redacted]:** i dont know suddenly i cant read

**gay for woojin:** also?

**[ gay for woojin ] changed [ gay for [redacted] ]’s nickname to [ gay for doyeon ]**

**gay for woojin:** u’ve been exposed  
**gay for woojin:** explain urself

**gay for doyeon:** ok well u see,, woojin has a big fucking gay crush on you  
**gay for doyeon:** all this time ive been trying to get him to confess to you practically since i’ve been friends with him  
**gay for doyeon:** idk why he came to me for advice bc i obviously cant deal with my own emotions but i felt bad not like. helping him try and woo u, u know? also the tender friendship we formed gave us the opportunity to rant abt our crushes so like it was a win-win esp for me bc the only people i could talk to that are my age abt my crush are either a) in the dark about my crush, b) trying to get me to confess to her, or c) my crush  
**gay for doyeon:** but then you came to me and i couldnt expose him outright like? what kind of friend would i be. also i wanted you 2 to work it out on ur own but tbh i wasnt sure that was ever gonna happen bc u kept tiptoeing around each other  
**gay for doyeon:** like cmon hyungseob ur supposed to be the confident gay in this situation bc woojin is the most panicked gay i have ever met esp when it comes to you

**gay for doyeon:** ok i realize i unloaded some emotional baggage there in the middle i apologize for that  
**gay for doyeon:** also u know we’re on a time limit now it’s only a matter of time before woojin realizes he sent you those messages instead of me

**gay for doyeon:** hyungseob are u still there  
**gay for doyeon:** i can see u reading these

**gay for woojin:** yeah sorry im just takin a moment to process this  
**gay for woojin:** and by process this i mean yelling into my pillow bc idk how else to release my emotions

**gay for doyeon:** reasonable reaction to finding out ur crush likes you  
**gay for doyeon:** take ur time

**gay for woojin:** thank you

**gay for woojin:** okay im back now  
**gay for woojin:** i am unsure how to proceed with this information

**gay for doyeon:** u should just walk up to him & kiss the hell out of him  
**gay for doyeon:** to avoid any more pining  
**gay for doyeon:** that’s just my opinion tho u do u man

**gay for woojin:** mayhaps,,,, i will,,,,,,,,,,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some notes:  
> \- the reason why woojin accidentally sent all those texts to hyungseob instead of yoojung is bc their gc are named "is it gay if-" and "fellas is it gay if", respectively  
> \- if u read cmb u know that an ioi gc exists, so yeonjung isn't apart of wjsn, leaving them only with 12 members! (also, the people from the cover dance team covering dreams come true are: yoojung, hyungseob, nayoung, kyulkyung, siyeon, yaebin, yuchan, bambam, chungha, lisa, chaeyoung, and junhui!) (the remaining 17 members are covering shine by pentagon & boss by nct u)  
> \- also! hyungseob is one of the designated makeup people for the dance cover group, hence why he was practicing makeup on himself and woojin  
> \- and the reason hyungseob didnt see the messages woojin sent initially was bc it was on the other side of the room, buried in his backpack and he is like me, having his phone on silent 24/7
> 
> and last but not least:  
> \- minhyuk scared the shit out of jihoon when he came out of his room (he hid in the hallway and surprised him but dropping his hands onto the other's shoulders, causing jihoon to shriek). also they talked abt the yoojung-woojin situation, and minhyuk still holds the blackmail above jihoon's head for future use
> 
>  
> 
> also!! i am finally using my twitter (that i've had for like,, six months lmao)!!! im at [@chickguans](https://twitter.com/chickguans) like always! it's gonna be mostly an update twt for my fics here on ao3 but! i may post some twt fics there,, we just dont know (eyes emoji)


	13. gay panicking and confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: there are mentions of a panic/anxiety attack in this chapter! it's not very descriptive, just mentioned!

**[ choi yoojung ] created a chat with [ kim donghan, ong seongwoo, park woojin ]**

**[ choi yoojung ] changed the chat name to [ GAY PANICKING ]**

**[ choi yoojung ] changed their nickname to [ FUCK ]**

**FUCK:** SOS  
**FUCK:** H ELP

 **park woojin:**?

 **ong seongwoo:** yeah i agree  
**ong seongwoo:** u gotta be more specific

**[ kim donghan ] changed their nickname to [ chaotic pan ]**

**chaotic pan:** what did you do this time  
**chaotic pan:** it must be serious if i was invited

 **FUCK:** SHUT UP DONGHAN I DONT NEED YOUR SASS RIGHT NOW

**[ kim donghan ] changed [ park woojin ]’s nickname to [ distinguished gay ]**

**chaotic pan:** wow okay

**[ kim donghan ] changed [ ong seongwoo ]’s nickname to [ disaster bi ]**

**FUCK:** IM PANICKING  
**FUCK:** LIKE I THINK I MIGHT BE? HAVING A PANIC ATTACK?  
**FUCK:** OR AN ANXIETY ATTACK FUCK I DONT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE  
**FUCK:** ALL I KNOW IS THAT AN ATTACK OF SOME KIND IS OCCURING

 **distinguished gay:** holy shit  
**distinguished gay:** are you okay

 **disaster bi:** are you okay  
**disaster bi:** okay u know what that’s a dumb question

 **chaotic pan:** yoojung breathe  
**chaotic pan:** where are you? I will literally leave my class right now and come over to your campus to make sure you’re okay

 **FUCK:** donghan stop i know you just want to ditch class

 **chaotic pan:** yeah and? I always want to ditch class  
**chaotic pan:** at least this will be for a good reason

 **distinguished gay:** are you okay tho?

 **disaster bi:** okay but literally where are u yoojung i dont want to have to submit a missing persons report

 **chaotic pan:** do you know what caused it?  
**chaotic pan:** if it was triggered by something

 **FUCK:** 1\. i am as good as a person having a panic attack can be, which is not very great  
**FUCK:** 2\. im on the roof of the music building. please dont come up here i look like a mess, i dont want anyone to see me like this  
**FUCK:** 3\. I…

 **disaster bi:** you what?

 **FUCK:** i accidentally confessed to doyeon

 **chaotic pan:** oh wow

 **disaster bi:** YOU DID WHAT

 **distinguished gay:** how do u accidentally confess to someone

 **FUCK:** …  
**FUCK:** /you/ are really gonna ask /me/ that

 **distinguished gay:**?

 **FUCK:** nvm i forget ur stupid sometimes

 **distinguished gay:** wHATS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

 **chaotic pan:** okay but what happened tho like how did u accidentally confess to her?

 **FUCK:** okay so we were just hanging out like usual u know, lowkey cuddling bc we’re best friends and personal space ceases to exist or whatever  
**FUCK:** and i wasn’t really paying attention bc i was watching dance practices so i could memorize moves for our upcoming covers right  
**FUCK:** doyeon’s watching over my shoulder bc what else is she gonna do and she asks who’s in the cover this time and i regret with my entire being mentioning chungha but like. it just slipped out i was distracted okay? so doyeon starts going off again about how she thinks doyeon and i would be a cute couple and i should just give her a chance and shit  
**FUCK:** so i, logically without thinking, say i’d rather date her  
**FUCK:** as in, doyeon. i’d rather date her than chungha  
**FUCK:** but i say it with way more sincerity than one should if they’re just joking but she’s like “haha bc we’re best friends right” but my dumb gay brain just goes “no bc i love you” and then she just like. stops talking and obviously i panic bc i finally realize what has left my stupid mouth and i just  
**FUCK:** ran away

 **disaster bi:** oh honey

 **FUCK:** and now im panicking even more  
**FUCK:** havin a good ole cry on top of the music building bc what if she hates me. what if i screwed up our friendship by confessin gto her. what if she neve r wants to see me again and now i dont have a best friend and i lost the love of my life  
**FUCK:** fuck  
**FUCK:** i know i always say im a chaotic gay but im really a disaster gay i mean just look at me

 **chaotic pan:** okay that’s it im coming over there nothing can stop me be there in approximately 12 minutes  
**chaotic pan:** maybe 17 if i decided to get some comfort food on the way over

 **FUCK:**...thanks

 **chaotic pan:** no prob b

 **disaster bi:** i’d leave my lecture to join u but mrs han will literally skin me alive

 **FUCK:** it’s okay

 **distinguished gay:** i, on the other hand, am omw rn  
**distinguished gay:** maybe  
**distinguished gay:** if these stairs dont kill me oh my god  
**distinguished gay:** how did you get up 13 flights of stairs without dying  
**distinguished gay:** if i dont make it up there u know my cause of death

 **disaster bi:** is there not an elevator?

 **distinguished gay:** it’s out of order

 **FUCK:** how did u get up here so fast woojin wtf

 **distinguished gay:** ??  
**distinguished gay:** that’s not me im only on the 9th floor

 **chaotic pan:** who’s on the roof with her then?

 **disaster bi:** yoojung who’s up there

 **disaster bi:** yoojung?

 **disaster bi:** yoojung  
**disaster bi:** choi yoojung

 **chaotic pan:** miss yoojung? miss yoojung? oh my god she fuckin dead

 **disaster bi:** woojin what floor are you on i need to know if yoojung got murdered or smth

 **distinguished gay:** 12  
**distinguished gay:** almost to the roof

 **distinguished gay:** HOL Y SHIT

 **disaster bi:** WHAT  
**disaster bi:** WHAT HAPPENED

 **distinguished gay:** I SWEAR TO GOD WHAT KIND OF FUCKING KDRAMA SHIT IS THIS

 **disaster bi:** WHAT IS HAPPENING

**distinguished gay:** how did she get to the stairs before me tho like wtf  
**distinguished gay:** how did i not hear her in the stairwell

**disaster bi:** WHO

**distinguished gay:** doyeon

**disaster bi:** OH MY GOD

**distinguished gay:** okay im p sure doyeon just confessed back to yoojung??  
**distinguished gay:** i cant hear them tho im too far away so im only assuming  
**distinguished gay:** oH MY  
**distinguished gay:** i hope she confessed bc i mean theyre kissing now otherwise this is gonna be really sad and this is gonna be some horrible shit to deal with afterwards

**disaster bi:** REALLY

**distinguished gay:** oh now they’re hugging  
**distinguished gay:** yeah really  
**distinguished gay:** aw yoojung’s crying now  
**distinguished gay:** oH SHIT SHE SAW ME

**disaster bi:** rip

**FUCK:** woojin i hate you  
**FUCK:** also you’re fucking dead  
**FUCK:** i am giving u exactly a one minute head start

**chaotic pan:** well it was nice knowing you woojin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the notes:  
> \- this is the same day as the last chapter, just a bit later  
> \- donghan goes to the same university as sungwoon! but he dual enrolls with yceu so he has had classes with some of the other squads!  
> \- hyungseob has said 0 things to woojin and woojin still hasn't realized he didnt send the messages to yoojung  
> \- doyeon checked each building rooftop (there's five of them that you can publicly access) to find yoojung after she ran away  
> \- yoojung pushed woojin down the stairs rip park woojin 1999 - 2018 (lmao jk)


	14. gay panicking and confessions (pt. 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i'm back!! enjoy!!!!
> 
> \- yes >> woojin  
> \- absolutely >> yoojung

**[ fellas is it gay (2) ]**

**yes:** YOODDUNG

 **absolutely:** that is absolutely how you spell my name  
**absolutely:** but yes woojin, what do you want

 **yes:** HYUNGSEOB JUST SENT ME THIS  
**yes:** “so i heard you [redacted] me ꈍᴗꈍ”  
**yes:** YOU ARE LITERALLY THE ONLY PERSON WHO KNOWS ABT MY CRUSH ON HIM  
**yes:** SO DID YOU TELL HIM OR DID YOU TELL HIM  
**yes:** FESS UP

 **absolutely:** you told him

 **yes:** what  
**yes:** no i didnt  
**yes:** when could i have possibly told him

 **absolutely:** woojin do you ever read your chat history after you send messages  
**absolutely:** go check your chat history with him

 **yes:** Oh No

 **absolutely:** oh yes

 **yes:** he  
**yes:** he saw the  
**yes:** the

 **absolutely:** take your time

 **yes:** he saw every single message about me having mushy gay feelings for him  
**yes:** e v e r y  
**yes:** s i n g l e  
**yes:** o n e  
**yes:** oh my god even the one where i said i’d let him kill me  
**yes:** i literally want to die now  
**yes:** Please Kill Me

 **absolutely:** can't, i have plans  
**absolutely:** also did u text him back  
**absolutely:** or did u just leave him on read

 **yes:** ...

 **absolutely:** text him back u buffoon

 

**☆☆☆**

 

**[  lily is the superior villager (2) ]**

**#1 worst mayor:** YES I [REDACTED] YOU VERY MUCH AND SINCE YOU READ ALL OF THOSE EMBARRASSING MESSAGES IM JUST GOING TO YELL ALL MY FEELINGS TO YOU BC I CANT EMBARRASS MYSELF FURTHER RIGHT? OK SO I REALLY REALLY LIKE YOU AND I THINK YOU’RE REALLY COOL LIKE HONESTLY NOT TO BE CLICHE OR ANYTHING BUT IT WAS LIKE LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT WHEN I SAW YOU IN THE PRACTICE ROOM AND LIKE I REALLY JUST WANNA HOLD YOUR HAND AND SMOOCH YOU AND TAKE YOU ON DATES AND PLAY ANIMAL CROSSING W/ U WHEN WE SHOULD BE DOING OUR HOMEWORK BC EVEN JUST BEING IN YOUR PRESENCE JUST MAKES ME REALLY HAPPY SO UH I GUESS THAT’S ME PROPERLY CONFESSING SO IM GONNA GO AND YELL A LITTLE BIT MORE AND THEN MAYBE EAT MY FEELINGS

 **#1 best mayor:** that...was a lot to read  
**#1 best mayor:** also hurt my eyes a little

 **#1 worst mayor:** if ur going to reject me just do it i can handle it

 **#1 best mayor:** woojin

 **#1 worst mayor:** okay maybe that’s a lie  
**#1 worst mayor:** what

 **#1 best mayor:** you are the BIGGEST idiot i know

 **#1 worst mayor:** wow thanks

 **#1 best mayor:** you didnt let me finish  
**#1 best mayor:** you are the BIGGEST idiot i know if you dont realize that i’m head over heels for you!! like bitch!!! i’ve been pining over you since we were on the same team for 10 out of 10 for the showcase at the beginning of the year

 **#1 worst mayor:** w-what

 **#1 best mayor:** i like you too !  
**#1 best mayor:** do you want me to say it out loud?  
**#1 best mayor:** [i_like_you_too.mp3]

 **#1 worst mayor:** i’m in cardiac arrest

 **#1 best mayor:** u better not die before i get to kiss u

 **#1 worst mayor:** i might die right after you kiss me

 **#1 best mayor:** u better not!!

 **#1 worst mayor:** i can make no guarantees

 **#1 best mayor:** i’m gonna need u to mentally prepare urself for a kiss right now

 **#1 worst mayor:** what  
**#1 worst mayor:** why

 **#1 best mayor:** bc im on my way to ur dorm rn  
**#1 best mayor:** almost there

 **#1 worst mayor:** uH

 **#1 best mayor:** open the door

 **#1 worst mayor:** i’m not ready give me a second  
**#1 worst mayor:** or a minute  
**#1 worst mayor:** maybe an hour

 **#1 best mayor:** so ur just leave me out here  
**#1 best mayor:** ur future boyfriend

 **#1 best mayor:** woojin  
**#1 best mayor:** are you okay

 **#1 worst mayor:** NO  
**#1 worst mayor:** U CANT JUST SAY THAT

 **#1 best mayor:** what

 **#1 worst mayor:** ****** *********

 **#1 best mayor:** well if you opened ur door i could turn that future tense into present tense

 **#1 worst mayor:** let me just uhh go brush my teeth or smth real quick

 **#1 best mayor:** we love a man who cares abt dental hygiene

 **#1 worst mayor:** sHUT Up  
**#1 worst mayor:** if i’m gonna kiss u might as well make it a good one  
**#1 worst mayor:** even tho im mentally that one spongebob meme where his brain is on fire

 **#1 best mayor:** just dont miss my mouth and we’ll be fine  
**#1 best mayor:** any kiss with you will be a good one

 **#1 worst mayor:** o-oh?

 **#1 best mayor:** just!! open the door already!!

 **#1 worst mayor:** i am!!  
**#1 worst mayor:** sshdfkjhkjkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkjhhhhhhhhhhhgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggffdhf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that last text is woojin clutching onto his phone for dear life while hyungseob kisses him
> 
>  
> 
> anyways!! i promise i'm gonna finish this fic!! the last chapter was up to what i had planned when i wrote my outline so i've been slowly trying to find a good way to finish this fic (don't worry..there's at least 6 more chapters left..maybe more idk). 
> 
> in the meantime, i've written a couple oneshots for fandoms i dont usually write for and completed an [ongniel twitter au](https://twitter.com/peachtoneau/status/990625420533002247) (which took way longer to finish than i thought it was going to), so if those are your cup of tea, feel free to check them out!


	15. gay awakenings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey................long time no see lol
> 
> \- also gay and in love >> yoojung  
> \- skipping stone >> minhyuk  
> \- gay and in love >> doyeon  
> \- door(?) >> bin  
> \- cat stepdad >> seongwoo
> 
> (also? sorry if this chapter is a bit boring...i needed to set up a v necessary plot point w/ it tho)

**[ sponsored by coca-cola (6) ]**

**also gay and in love:** good evening gays  
**also gay and in love:** who wants to hear about mine  & doyeon’s cute ass date  
**also gay and in love:** and by that i mean im going to tell u all anyway and you’re going to enjoy it

 **skipping stone:** excuse u i am the token hetero of this non-hetero friend group

 **also gay and in love:** what

 

**☆☆☆**

 

**[ choi yoojung ] created a chat with [ ong seongwoo, cha eunwoo, moon bin, and kim doyeon ]**

**[ choi yoojung ] changed the chat name to [ my life has been a lie ]**

**choi yoojung:** i cant believe  
**choi yoojung:** this whole time  
**choi yoojung:** a hetero  
**choi yoojung:** how

 **moon bin:** u? didnt know?

 **choi yoojung:** no  
**choi yoojung:** but he just had this bi energy i cant explain it  
**choi yoojung:** like rmbr the time i tried to call him out for staring at hyunwoo sunbae when he was practicing for his solo and he just said he admired him as a dancer when he was clearly checking out the large hunk of man hyunwoo is  
**choi yoojung:** so is he just stupid or in denial bc i really thought he was bi

 **cha eunwoo:** He did once talk about SHINee’s Taemin to an excessive amount to me while he had been intoxicated once. To be fair, he did start with talking about his dancing but then moved onto how he’d "risk it all" for him. So maybe both?

 **choi yoojung:** i cant believe this

 **moon bin:** u know i was trying to let him figure it out in his own but we see how this has gone

 **kim doyeon:** he knows he's in a safe space right. his friend group is literally all not straight. his roommates aren't straight. half the student body isn't straight

 **ong seongwoo:** maybe he's got some stuff he's dealing with that isnt letting him come to terms with it  
**ong seongwoo:** lots of people experience compulsive heterosexuality so he could potentially be dealing with that right now

 **choi yoojung:** like that one article abt that guy who thought he was homophobic but he really just had a big fat crush on his roommate and was jealous of all the dudes he was bringing home

 **ong seongwoo** **:** yeah like that

 **cha eunwoo:** Maybe he already realized it but forgot

 **choi yoojung:** what

 **moon bin:** what  
**moon bin:** how do u just forget ur gay?

 **cha eunwoo:** I realized I was gay in like...middle school I think? At that time I was too focused on academics and subconsciously went “That's for future me to deal with”, promptly forgot, and then only remembered when I had to room with Bin.

 **choi yoojung:** wow that's..gay lmao

 **cha eunwoo:** Yeah haha

 **kim doyeon:** so what you’re saying is that bin was so hot he reminded u you were gay

 **cha eunwoo:** Basically

 **moon bin:** why...did i know this?

 **cha eunwoo:** Did..I not tell you?  
**cha eunwoo:** I thought I told you this.

 **moon bin:** no???

 **cha eunwoo:** Oh  
**cha eunwoo:** Well now you know

 **ong seongwoo:** if bin was your second gay awakening who was your first

 **moon bin:** i’m his what now

 **choi yoojung:** the reason he realized he was gay, typically a celebrity, that causes you to to be overcome with such overwhelming gay emotions that you just realize that in that moment that your life before was a lie  
**choi yoojung:** for example, mine was krystal jung

 **moon bin:** you have a type

 **choi yoojung:** Yes I Know Thank You

 **kim doyeon:**?

 **choi yoojung:** dont worry abt it baby ur #1 in my heart

 **cha eunwoo:** I think it was Kim Soohyun, the actor.

 **moon bin:** oh that’s a good choice

 **ong seongwoo:** mine wasnt a singular person  
**ong seongwoo:** it was the mirotic mv  
**ong seongwoo:** it was an Experience for young seongwoo

 **kim doyeon:** uh guys shouldn’t we get back to the actual gc, minhyuk’s probably wondering where we all went

 **choi yoojung:** o yeah

 

☆☆☆

 

**[ sponsored by coca-cola (6) ]**

**also gay and in love:** sorry i got distracted  
**also gay and in love:** n e ways buckle up ur abt to hear how i have the cutest girlfriend in the world ever

 **cat stepdad:** good i want to see what the youngins are up to these days

 **door(?):** you're only four years older than them, hyung

 **cat stepdad:** yeah and

 **also gay and in love:** ANYWAYS **  
** also gay and in love: we went to 1m!!!! and did a dance class and that was v fun (thank u for planning that baby i was v surprised and v happy abt it) **  
**also gay and in love: doyeon kept getting this one part wrong so i went over to Help Her Like The Good Girlfriend I Am. then we almost got kicked out bc doyeon wouldnt stop trying to smooch me while i helped her **  
also gay and in** **love:**  and then we went to eat and got food all over our table because we kept trying to feed each other

 **gay and in love:** i'm surprised they didn't kick us out tbh

 **also gay and in love:** yeah tbh  
**also gay and in love:** then we went to an arcade and doyeon was so determined to win me a plushie that we spent a whole ass two hours there while she tried to win me one  
**also gay and in love:** and when i won smth on my first try she refused to talk to me bc she was mad that i won something and she didnt  
**also gay and in love:** not the fact that she spent over 100$ trying to win smth  
**also gay and in love:** so i had to Lay Down Some Lovin to get her to talk to me (she did also eventually win something too)

 **gay and in love:** all you did was act cute until i talked to you again  
**gay and in love:** i still cant believe you did that for twenty minutes while we walked home  
**gay and in love:** if i'm being honest i forgave you after the first five minutes, i just wanted to see how long you'd do it

 **also gay and in love:** >:U **  
also gay and in love:** thisb e t r a y a l

 **skipping stone:** that emoji looks like a tamagotchi

 **also gay and in love:** but

 ** **cat stepdad:**** oh my god you're right

 **also gay and in love:** [plushsharkanddogwithdodaeng.png]  
**also gay and in love:** these are our children, tofu and sweet potato

 **door(?):** I Love Them

 **also gay and in love:** okay that's it we're home now and i want to go make out with my beautiful girlfriend goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my twt and cc @'s have changed since i last updated!!! idr if i updated any links at the end of chapters since i changed them so here are my [twitter](https://twitter.com/peachtoneau) and [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/peachtones) !!


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